It's not new, but it's new to me.

I have a crush on a woman old enough to be my grandmother.

Isn't she just captivating? Now get ready to have your heart broken...

Yeah. It's all just too much for me. I'm going to have a good cry. That is exactly what music is supposed to be. Get this album. Seriously.

Rupert Everett says being gay is still a bad career move...

QUOTE: "[Announcing that you’re gay is] not that advisable to be honest. It’s not very easy. And, honestly, I would not advise any actor necessarily, if he was really thinking of his career, to come out. … The fact is that you could not be, and still cannot be, a 25-year-old homosexual trying to make it in the British film business or the American film business or even the Italian film business."

—actor Rupert Everett, who voiced Prince Charming in the Shrek movies and Mr. Fox in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. He may be most well known for his role in 1997’s My Best Friend’s Wedding

[huffingtonpost.com, 12/2/09]

This makes me want to cry and wish I could laugh. I stumbled across it on list of other really distressing quotes. I guess it should serve to remind us all of ideas that I can't honestly fathom standing behind. Dangerous. Scary. Completely and utterly heartbreaking. I hate progressive liberals whining about intolerance as much as the next progressive liberal, but come on world! Grow a pair and stop this nonsense.

New Nicholas Cage movie has critics dusting off their thesuaruses

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans




Critics seem to be pretty divided over how good (or shitty) this movie is, and even more divided over why. The reviews range from 20/100 to 100/100 on metacritic, but when it comes to explaining those numbers, they all just cranked the bullshit machine into overdrive. Look at these excerpts:

"Cage is not quite Aguirre or Fitzcarraldo in the Big Easy. But his performance hits all the right mythopoetic beats, rising above the thin script and late-night-cable aesthetic."
Kieth Uhlich, Time Out New York

[That's definitely what I go to the movies to see... an actor striving to hit all the mythopoetic beats.]

"The marvel of Cage's performance is that, somehow, it's all of a piece. That's the marvel of the movie, too. This is one fever dream you'll remember whole."
-Paul Rainer, Christian Science Monitor

[Hmm... it's one of the best movies of the year because it's like a fever dream you'll remember whole.]

"The sparkle is what's been missing in the star's (Cage) recent performances. What's not to love in a movie that transmutes Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid state of post-Katrina New Orleans, into darkly comic gold?"
-Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal

[Ooohhh... it's the sparkle - no wait! It's the movie's ability to umm... transmute Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid - what the fuck? Really. What the fuck.]

Now, here's the really good news: Without the collective guidance of these "entertainment experts," we, the movie-loving public, can form opinions of our own. These divisive little art projects only seem to come around once or twice a year, so enjoy it. Buy yourself a ticket (or just follow the link up top to the torrent) and join the conversation. Whatever you say, I guarantee it won't be as inane than this:

"Less like a movie than an interpretive-dance piece, with Cage as its lurching, depressed-satyr star."
-Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com

Copenhagen prostitutes stick it to the man...

Danish Prostitutes Offer Free Sex to Climate Conference Delegates

"The city's mayor warned hotels against patronizing Danish prostitutes during the upcoming U.N. summit — but the Copenhagen hookers are reportedly striking back by offering free sex to anyone who ignores the warnings."

So, Copenhagen is supposed to be the most important climate change meeting in forever. If something important is decided there, this headline will seem even more inane than it does now. But if world leaders don't do shit in Copenhagen, someone should at least get a book deal for delivering an inside scoop on these feisty hookers.

Honestly, I'm still trying to decide if they're technically prostitutes when they're not charging anyone for their services. I think the answer is yes because they're carrying out a union policy of some sort, but I'm pretty clueless about the whole scene. So, my opinion probably isn't worth much. Oh well, I do know for sure that this is the weirdest news I've seen in days.

Check it out

Reminds me of the Subterranean Homesick Blues video. In a really good way.

Hey look, a haiku!

The New Breakdown (or "Why this heavy breathing?")

Newspaper tongue,
Bacon-grease sweat, vomit
Ringing in my ears.

Politics as usual

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/30/world/asia/30policy.html?hp

The New York times tells me that President Obama is sending more troops to Afghanistan. I can't help feeling a little betrayed, honestly. I mean, I thought I voted for the guy who was getting us out of this war. Well, this one and the other one we're still fighting in Iraq.

Now, lest I sound irrational, let me clarify my point: I'm not saying that it isn't difficult being the President. I'm not saying that national security isn't important. I'm not saying that the situation isn't complicated as all fuck. All I'm saying is give peace a chance.

News from abroad

Check out this Al Jazeera report about Native Americans living in South Dakota. It's pretty devastating, and nothing in the story would have ever crossed my mind if I hadn't seen it. So expand your awareness. I mean, it seems like the situation at least deserves to be noticed.

The web's best bandwidth investment by far...

"The things change, you plain Jane,
I'm diverse, I save the World second,
and I get high first." - Lil' Wayne

NEWSFLASH - A documentary about Lil' Wayne debuted with unanimous critical acclaim at Sundance this year, and just a few days ago, it was released on DVD.

I've heard far too many music lovers downplay Lil' Wayne's success and talent. So, I'm going to post three links. The first will take you to a torrent for Don't Look Back, the documentary that followed Bob Dylan on is 1965 tour of England. The second is for The Carter documentary, which follows Lil' Wayne during the months leading up to the release of Tha Carter 3. The third is for Lil' Wayne's latest mixtape, No Ceilings.

Play them in order and get hip to the greatest popular musician of our generation.

Don't Look Back ------->>> The Carter -------->>> No Ceilings

Yeah. Something like that.

Every once in a while, she really takes you by surprise. She moves through you at her will, and once your feet leave the ground, there is no back until she puts you back, all in one piece just like the last time. It's a ride through the fabric of who we all are. There's no outsmarting her. She unleashes subjectivity and takes you under the truth.

hmm... this doesn't sound quite right.

Palin to Hannity: Alleged Fort Hood Shooter Should Have Been Profiled

Nuff said.

Catholic Church courageously refuses to accept mountain of empirical evidence

Catholic bishops claim
moral authority
amidst 'confusion'

According to USA Today, the U.S. Catholic bishops had their semi-annual meeting in Baltimore this week. One item discussed was "a preliminary report on the 'causes and contexts' of the clergy sexual abuse scandal that resulted in some 14,000 abuse claims and cost the church $2.6 billion since 1950."

In a remarkable display of open-mindedness, the church invited some experts to the discussion:

"Researchers from New York's John Jay College of Criminal Justice told the nearly 300 members of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops that homosexual orientation should not be linked to the sexual abuse, even as some church leaders have sought to make a link between gay priests and sexual abuse.

'What we are suggesting is that the idea of sexual identity be separated from the problem of sexual abuse,' said Margaret Smith of John Jay College. 'At this point, we do not find a connection between homosexual identity and the increased likelihood of subsequent abuse from the data that we have right now.'"

Thankfully, the Church had evidence that clearly showed they knew more about the situation than those experts:

"Since the abuse scandal erupted in the USA in 2002, the Vatican has barred seminarians with 'deep-seated homosexual tendencies,' and conducted an investigation of seminaries that concluded that 'difficulties' related to 'homosexual behavior' had been largely 'overcome.'"

I'm not sure what this has to do with sexual abuse, but you can't argue with results:

"Noting the decline in accusations against Catholic priests, Bishop Blase Cupich of Rapid City, S.D., said the report shows that 'the worst of this is behind us … I think it's safe to say that there is no safer place for a child today than in the Catholic Church.'"

That makes perfect sense. Just follow their argument carefully, and it all falls into place:

1. 14,000 people claim that they were sexually abused by a member of the Catholic clergy.

2. The church blames it on the gays.

3. The church goes on a witch hunt for gay priests.

4. The experts insist that there is no link between sex crimes and homosexuality.

5. The church insists that they know more than the experts.

6. A smaller number of people are coming forward with claims of abuse by the Catholic clergy.

7. "[T]here is no safer place for a child today than in the Catholic Church."

What a relief! For a second, it looked like the Catholic Church would have to change. Turns out, that's never going to happen.

See? It's trickling!

$500 Million and Apology From Goldman

Kudos to Goldman Sachs for generously donating a whopping 3% of their payroll budget to rescue struggling small businesses. The small businesses that didn't get a life raft when financial industry kingpins fucked up the global economy.

So I guess that's what passes for philanthropy these days. It's not as flashy as building a library or cancer ward, but in these desperate times, we should all be grateful. They're giving away $500 million more this year than they will next year... or the year after next... or the year after that...

Trickle Down Economics:
(P1) Capitalism turns freedom into money.
(P2) The people who work hardest in Capitalism make the most money.
(P3) The people who make most money give the most away.
(P4) Regulations on the financial industry will interfere with their ability to make money.
(P5) If the banks don't make money, the people who work hardest (P2) won't make as much money.
(P6) If the people who work hardest make less money, then they won't be able to give as much away.
(C1) Working class Americans should vote Palin/Limbaugh in 2012.

That makes perfect sense. No wonder God put it in the Bible.

This should impress you:

Woke up today with enough time to eat breakfast and shower.