New Nicholas Cage movie has critics dusting off their thesuaruses

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans




Critics seem to be pretty divided over how good (or shitty) this movie is, and even more divided over why. The reviews range from 20/100 to 100/100 on metacritic, but when it comes to explaining those numbers, they all just cranked the bullshit machine into overdrive. Look at these excerpts:

"Cage is not quite Aguirre or Fitzcarraldo in the Big Easy. But his performance hits all the right mythopoetic beats, rising above the thin script and late-night-cable aesthetic."
Kieth Uhlich, Time Out New York

[That's definitely what I go to the movies to see... an actor striving to hit all the mythopoetic beats.]

"The marvel of Cage's performance is that, somehow, it's all of a piece. That's the marvel of the movie, too. This is one fever dream you'll remember whole."
-Paul Rainer, Christian Science Monitor

[Hmm... it's one of the best movies of the year because it's like a fever dream you'll remember whole.]

"The sparkle is what's been missing in the star's (Cage) recent performances. What's not to love in a movie that transmutes Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid state of post-Katrina New Orleans, into darkly comic gold?"
-Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal

[Ooohhh... it's the sparkle - no wait! It's the movie's ability to umm... transmute Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid - what the fuck? Really. What the fuck.]

Now, here's the really good news: Without the collective guidance of these "entertainment experts," we, the movie-loving public, can form opinions of our own. These divisive little art projects only seem to come around once or twice a year, so enjoy it. Buy yourself a ticket (or just follow the link up top to the torrent) and join the conversation. Whatever you say, I guarantee it won't be as inane than this:

"Less like a movie than an interpretive-dance piece, with Cage as its lurching, depressed-satyr star."
-Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com

Copenhagen prostitutes stick it to the man...

Danish Prostitutes Offer Free Sex to Climate Conference Delegates

"The city's mayor warned hotels against patronizing Danish prostitutes during the upcoming U.N. summit — but the Copenhagen hookers are reportedly striking back by offering free sex to anyone who ignores the warnings."

So, Copenhagen is supposed to be the most important climate change meeting in forever. If something important is decided there, this headline will seem even more inane than it does now. But if world leaders don't do shit in Copenhagen, someone should at least get a book deal for delivering an inside scoop on these feisty hookers.

Honestly, I'm still trying to decide if they're technically prostitutes when they're not charging anyone for their services. I think the answer is yes because they're carrying out a union policy of some sort, but I'm pretty clueless about the whole scene. So, my opinion probably isn't worth much. Oh well, I do know for sure that this is the weirdest news I've seen in days.

Check it out

Reminds me of the Subterranean Homesick Blues video. In a really good way.

Hey look, a haiku!

The New Breakdown (or "Why this heavy breathing?")

Newspaper tongue,
Bacon-grease sweat, vomit
Ringing in my ears.

Politics as usual

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/30/world/asia/30policy.html?hp

The New York times tells me that President Obama is sending more troops to Afghanistan. I can't help feeling a little betrayed, honestly. I mean, I thought I voted for the guy who was getting us out of this war. Well, this one and the other one we're still fighting in Iraq.

Now, lest I sound irrational, let me clarify my point: I'm not saying that it isn't difficult being the President. I'm not saying that national security isn't important. I'm not saying that the situation isn't complicated as all fuck. All I'm saying is give peace a chance.