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Chanting ancient pagan rites over coffee.
Flatten the dough with your calloused palms until it is approximately the thickness of a deflated balloon.
Gourmet.
Cabinet.
Magnetic.
Burlesque.
Substrate.
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It really is a tragedy, all this death being born around us.
I'll shit in your mouth until you speak the truth.
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Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
New Nicholas Cage movie has critics dusting off their thesuaruses
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Critics seem to be pretty divided over how good (or shitty) this movie is, and even more divided over why. The reviews range from 20/100 to 100/100 on metacritic, but when it comes to explaining those numbers, they all just cranked the bullshit machine into overdrive. Look at these excerpts:
"Cage is not quite Aguirre or Fitzcarraldo in the Big Easy. But his performance hits all the right mythopoetic beats, rising above the thin script and late-night-cable aesthetic."
Kieth Uhlich, Time Out New York
[That's definitely what I go to the movies to see... an actor striving to hit all the mythopoetic beats.]
"The marvel of Cage's performance is that, somehow, it's all of a piece. That's the marvel of the movie, too. This is one fever dream you'll remember whole."
-Paul Rainer, Christian Science Monitor
[Hmm... it's one of the best movies of the year because it's like a fever dream you'll remember whole.]
"The sparkle is what's been missing in the star's (Cage) recent performances. What's not to love in a movie that transmutes Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid state of post-Katrina New Orleans, into darkly comic gold?"
-Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal
[Ooohhh... it's the sparkle - no wait! It's the movie's ability to umm... transmute Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid - what the fuck? Really. What the fuck.]
Now, here's the really good news: Without the collective guidance of these "entertainment experts," we, the movie-loving public, can form opinions of our own. These divisive little art projects only seem to come around once or twice a year, so enjoy it. Buy yourself a ticket (or just follow the link up top to the torrent) and join the conversation. Whatever you say, I guarantee it won't be as inane than this:
"Less like a movie than an interpretive-dance piece, with Cage as its lurching, depressed-satyr star."
-Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com
Critics seem to be pretty divided over how good (or shitty) this movie is, and even more divided over why. The reviews range from 20/100 to 100/100 on metacritic, but when it comes to explaining those numbers, they all just cranked the bullshit machine into overdrive. Look at these excerpts:
"Cage is not quite Aguirre or Fitzcarraldo in the Big Easy. But his performance hits all the right mythopoetic beats, rising above the thin script and late-night-cable aesthetic."
Kieth Uhlich, Time Out New York
[That's definitely what I go to the movies to see... an actor striving to hit all the mythopoetic beats.]
"The marvel of Cage's performance is that, somehow, it's all of a piece. That's the marvel of the movie, too. This is one fever dream you'll remember whole."
-Paul Rainer, Christian Science Monitor
[Hmm... it's one of the best movies of the year because it's like a fever dream you'll remember whole.]
"The sparkle is what's been missing in the star's (Cage) recent performances. What's not to love in a movie that transmutes Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid state of post-Katrina New Orleans, into darkly comic gold?"
-Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal
[Ooohhh... it's the sparkle - no wait! It's the movie's ability to umm... transmute Terence's moral squalor, and the squalid - what the fuck? Really. What the fuck.]
Now, here's the really good news: Without the collective guidance of these "entertainment experts," we, the movie-loving public, can form opinions of our own. These divisive little art projects only seem to come around once or twice a year, so enjoy it. Buy yourself a ticket (or just follow the link up top to the torrent) and join the conversation. Whatever you say, I guarantee it won't be as inane than this:
"Less like a movie than an interpretive-dance piece, with Cage as its lurching, depressed-satyr star."
-Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com
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